Department of Boring Finance · stonkfun.xyz
Official Retirement Statement — Form PF-401(degen)
No community. Just a boring pension fund.
Hold $PENSION, receive SPYx — a long-term pension strategy. Just a quietly compounding, deeply uneventful pension fund. As it should be.
Complete both fields below to estimate your future SPYx distributions. Purely illustrative — see disclosure at bottom of worksheet.
| Year | Est. Annual SPYx | Cumulative SPYx |
|---|
Assumes a flat 3% of monthly volume is distributed to holders proportional to their share of a 1,000,000,000 token supply, with volume held constant year over year. Actual results depend on real trading activity, tokenomics at launch, and the general unpredictability of markets. This worksheet is for entertainment purposes only and is not financial advice or a projection of actual returns.
Reference index performance alongside your projected $PENSION horizon at 5, 10, 20, and 40 years.
SPY — Reference Chart
Illustrative reference line only — not live market data.
Projected Cumulative SPYx
Based on the holdings and volume entered in Sec. 1, held flat over each horizon.
Long-horizon figures compound the Sec. 1 assumptions (3% of monthly volume, 1,000,000,000 token supply, constant volume) out to 40 years with no adjustment for inflation, volume growth, or token burns. Provided for illustration only — not a forecast, and not financial advice.
PASTE_CONTRACT_ADDRESS_HERE
Approved venues for reviewing or acquiring $PENSION.